


Coping Mechanisms

by Star_Going_Supernova



Series: how Maddie acquired a second dad [1]
Category: Godzilla: King of The Monsters (2019)
Genre: Angst, Dadzilla, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Intelligent Godzilla, Monster-Human Friendship, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Post-Godzilla: King of The Monsters (2019), avoiding dealing with those repercussions? check, emotional repercussions of nearly dying? check, i will make that a tag myself if i have to, meaningful interactions with your monster dad? check
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-12-24 23:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21107567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Going_Supernova/pseuds/Star_Going_Supernova
Summary: Once Maddie has time to process what happened in Boston, she doesn’t handle it well. Help comes from the least expected source.(Or, Maddie finds someone to protect her from her worst nightmares.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t choose what movies to be obsessed by, the movie chooses me. 
> 
> Warning for violence and death in nightmares. It’s not super graphically described, but the imagery could be disturbing.

The first few weeks after Boston passed by quickly. There was so much to do, so much to keep Maddie busy, that at the end of each day, she was asleep almost as soon as she hit the pillow. Questions needed to be answered, the dead needed to be dealt with, and the world needed to know that the worst was over.

Before she knew it, three full weeks had gone by. Things began to calm down around Castle Bravo. They finally had time to take a collective breath and arrange a day to honor the many losses Monarch had suffered, including Dr. Serizawa and Dr. Graham. Her dad could stand to let her out of his sight again. She wasn’t constantly moving and thinking and helping. And that’s when the realization that her mom was gone, completely and utterly gone, hit her.

Her mom was dead.

Sleep became much harder to come by, after that.

Maddie would spend hours staring at the ceiling in her room at Castle Bravo, just across the hall from her dad. Sometimes the hurt in her heart choked her until she screamed herself hoarse into her pillow. Sometimes she cried until her eyes burned, her chest heaving in empty, gasping sobs. Sometimes she wandered the quiet halls with music playing through her earbuds until she felt ready to collapse.

Her dad and the others noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes grow more and more pronounced. They tried to help, but she was a twelve-year-old with too much time on her hands and too much grief to handle, and they were adults trying to reassure the rest of the world that the Titans wouldn’t up and decide to eat everyone someday.

Maybe it was a family trait, she thought one night, when her forehead was pressed against the cool glass that looked out into the pitch black of the ocean. Maybe the Russells were doomed to poor coping mechanisms. Her dad drank until he ran away to isolate himself with wolves. Her mom started a worldwide apocalypse that was only narrowly avoided. Back then, after Andrew, Maddie had taken to reading the most complicated science journals and articles she could get her hands on, a dictionary always right by her side. She’d been seven and alone and unsure of how to deal with it. Making her head swim with words she didn’t understand seemed as good a way as any.

Now she was going to drive herself to complete exhaustion. Not exactly a step up.

But as she sat there, music blaring, she could only think of one thing worse than not being able to fall asleep. And that was, unfortunately, _being _able to fall asleep.

Ghidorah was dead, right up until she closed her eyes for a second too long. He was there, haunting her with nightmares both true and false. She watched him disintegrate her mom, she watched him devour Dr. Graham, she watched him constrict around her dad, she watched him chase her. Always, it seemed, her dreams ended with him chasing her.

The only time he didn’t was in the dreams where Godzilla didn’t arrive in time. Where her scream of angry defiance, of victory even in the face of his rage, turned into one of searing agony. He would blast her with his poison-yellow lightning and instead of turning into ash, she would collapse onto her back and feel every sharp bolt of electricity that tore through her veins.

And there she would writhe, wailing at the unending pain, as he roared his triumph into the storm above them.

Those particular nightmares ended with her thrashing around in her bed, unsure of when she’d woken up. Her sheets were always tangled hopelessly around her, as tears carved hot paths down her cheeks.

Maddie never woke up screaming, and maybe that was why no one realized the horrors she experienced on the nights she actually managed to fall asleep.

She stared into the water, feeling more tired than she ever had in her life, and wished Godzilla could destroy the Ghidorah in her head like he’d destroyed the real one.

• • •

Her concentration was shot. People needed to repeat her name several times—sometimes even had to physically shake her shoulder—just to get her attention. Words blurred into incomprehensible messes whenever she stared at a book or screen for more than a few seconds.

At the end of the eighth day of Maddie’s personal, nightly torture, her dad sat next to her in the cafeteria and watched her pick sluggishly at her food.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She was too tired to sass him, which really just proved how awful this whole thing was, so she merely said, “I’m having trouble falling asleep.”

He nodded slowly. “I was, too.”

Maddie froze, her thoughts on her family’s awful coping mechanisms running through her head again. She looked up at him, eyes wide, mentally begging her dad not to say that he’d gone back to relying on the bottle to knock himself out for the night.

Her thoughts must’ve been obvious, or maybe he was thinking something similar about the last time grief dug its claws into him, because he hurried to add, “I’ve been using sleeping pills. Not… not that.”

All the tension seeped from Maddie’s body, leaving her even more exhausted.

“You could try them, if you want. Sure, it’s not the greatest feeling, but they work.”

It was tempting. Her desperate need for rest made it _so _tempting. The only thing that kept her from jumping at the offer was the fear that the pills would keep her from waking up during her nightmares.

“Maybe,” she finally said. “But for now, I want to keep trying on my own.”

Her dad frowned but didn’t push. “Fine. Three more nights, Madison, then you give them a chance.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her tight against him. “It’s killin’ me, seeing you like this.”

She mustered up a smile. “What, like a zombie?” She knew exactly how pale and dead-eyed she looked, with dark circles that could pass for bruises.

Gratifyingly, it got her dad to laugh. “I don’t think I could handle a zombie daughter.”

As much as Maddie wanted to keep bantering, her brain—ironically—was too sluggish to come up with something witty.

“Hey,” her dad said quietly. “Promise me, okay? That you’ll at least try them if this continues.”  
  
“I promise,” she whispered, leaning more heavily against him. Falling asleep suddenly didn’t seem so scary with her dad right there. Before she could do more than drift off, however, the sound of someone quickly approaching them made her open her eyes.

It was a harried-looking man, a tablet tucked against his chest. “Dr. Russell! You’re wanted in the control room.”

Maddie got up to follow him, not quite ready to be alone and also knowing she wouldn’t manage to eat much more even if she stayed.

When they arrived, her dad gave her shoulder a firm squeeze before heading off to speak with Dr. Chen by the largest set of screens. Maddie headed straight for an empty chair beside Dr. Stanton.

“You look awful, kid,” he said once she collapsed against the leather.

She leveled a glare at him, but he only raised an eyebrow as if daring her to deny it.

Too tired for an argument—even a playful one—she asked, “What’s going on?”

Dr. Stanton tapped his computer screen. “The King’s awake.”

Maddie straightened up. “Really?”

“Would I lie to you, kid?”

“Yeah.”

He snorted and shook his head. “Little brat,” he said fondly. “Look, I’ll prove it.” He tapped a few buttons on his screen and adjusted some sliders on the desk panel. After a moment, the computer’s speakers emitted a noise just loud enough for the two of them to hear, without disrupting the rest of the room.

The pulsing, rumbling sounds rose and fell in a familiar growl.

A smile, more genuine than any other she’d worn for the past few days, spread across her face.

“Godzilla,” she whispered. The wiggling sound waves on Dr. Stanton’s computer were mesmerizing, especially when she could hear what they represented. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, thank goodness.” Dr. Stanton leaned back in his chair. “And after a nap like that, he better be. Lucky son of a—”

A much louder roar cut him off. It deepened into a more continuous rumble. The sound waves spiked and danced in response.

“Where’s he going?” Maddie asked. She tried to look over his head at the screens her dad and Dr. Chen were gesturing wildly at.

“Nowhere in particular. Looks like he’s just stretching his legs, so to speak. But since it’s the first time he’s shown his face since Boston, we figured it’d be a good idea to keep a closer eye on him for the time being.”

“He’s patrolling his territory,” Dr. Chen said to the room at large, though Maddie just barely noticed. She was too busy focusing on the rhythmic growls coming from the computer. It was like white noise, but more calming than static. “He might come here, sooner or later.”

Dr. Stanton shrugged. “As long as he doesn’t pull a stunt like last time, he can swim wherever he wants.”

The control room’s chatter felt distant to Maddie, and incredibly easy to ignore. Something about hearing Godzilla’s vocalizations was comforting. Maybe because she associated him with that last-second save he pulled, keeping her from being barbecued in Boston. Which was funny, because the only other memory she had of him before that was from San Fransisco, and there was no comfort to be derived there.

Dr. Stanton sighed, but it sounded more pleased than exasperated. Maddie looked up to see him slowly surveying the room. The excitement and anticipation over Godzilla being awake again was a drastic change from the usual panic and fear.

“Man,” Dr. Stanton said quietly as the King’s rumble continued, “what I wouldn’t give for Serizawa to be able to see this.”

Having heard the story of his sacrifice several times, Maddie nodded and reached out to pat his arm. Both Dr. Serizawa and Dr. Graham were terribly missed, and never more so than at times like this, when the future they’d hoped for was finally looking possible.

• • • 

Maddie screamed and twisted back and forth, but Ghidorah didn’t let her go. Her jacket pulled tight at her armpits from the way he held the back between his teeth. She could feel her shirt slowly grow wet with blood from where his fangs had cut her when he’d snatched her up.

High above the ground, she could only watch as the other two heads tormented her parents. Ghidorah snapped at them—leaving shallow gashes in their skin—and let small bursts of lightning crackle through their easily damaged human bodies.

Beyond the rubble-strewn clearing, Dr. Serizawa lay cleaved in half, a box with the nuke for Godzilla next to his torso. Since he never made it down to set it off, Maddie knew Godzilla wouldn’t come for them. No one would.

Burning rain pounded against her face. It was slightly pink, even in the smoky darkness, as though it’d been mixed with blood.

Ghidorah’s middle head viciously snapped down on her father’s body. When he pulled away, all that was left were Mark Russell’s legs. The monster set her mom on fire without killing her, and Maddie cried out for her as her skin bubbled and blackened. It was almost a relief when Emma Russell finally fell still.

With a deafening screech, Ghidorah dropped Maddie, and the ravaged ground rushed up to meet her with a crunch of bone.

Her chest was heaving with a swallowed scream when she woke up. Barely even realizing she was awake at all, she stumbled out of bed and into the connecting bathroom, where she collapsed to the cold tile in front of the toilet.

She stayed slumped against it long after she’d finished throwing up.

• • • 

By the time she left her room that morning, hours and hours after waking up from her nightmare, it was midday. Maddie couldn’t be positive, but she was pretty sure she’d only gotten two hours of sleep last night. Those sleeping pills were looking more and more tempting—even a full-blown sedative sounded appealing.

She shuffled into the control room and folded herself into the same chair as yesterday. Dr. Stanton briefly glanced at her before doing a double take. He whistled lowly.

“Geez, kid, you look like you got run over by a train.”

She blinked slowly and mumbled, “Feels like it, too.” Not wanting to talk about it—and that was the reason she was in the control room; to try and avoid her dad who would be around the labs today—she asked, “Did Godzilla end up coming here yesterday?”

He gave her a Look but obligingly answered. “Not yet, but the path we’ve predicted has him passing by tomorrow.”

Dr. Stanton paused, appearing to think about something for a moment, before reaching away from Maddie to his right. He grabbed a tablet and messed with it for a moment before shoving it at her. “You know how to control the underwater drones, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Make yourself useful, then, and catalogue some wreckage. We’re still trying to figure out exactly what’s all sunk in that area.”

It took only a few tries before muscle memory took over and she piloted the drone with ease. It was kinda like a video game, and it felt good to be doing something again. Maddie didn’t even notice when Dr. Stanton surreptitiously brought up the audio the station was receiving from Godzilla.

She also didn’t notice how she relaxed at the familiar rumble, though Dr. Stanton did.

• • •

Maddie didn’t even try to sleep that night. Not with Ghidorah’s screech still ringing in her ears when the silence pressed in around her. Not with the sight of her parents’ dead bodies lingering against her eyelids.

She wandered the halls in a daze, loud music giving her a headache.

Morning found her sitting in ice cold water in her bathtub, shivering but awake.

• • • 

Mark Russell was at his wits end. Every day, his daughter looked worse and worse. He knew she’d seen horrible things, things that would keep anyone up at night, but she _needed _to sleep. Even just for a little while.

And that was why he was making a mug of hot chocolate just the way she liked it. He dropped half a sleeping pill in with the hopes of convincing her to try it with a smaller dose. Maybe she could take a nap, get a feel for what side effects she might experience. All the better if having a taste of sound sleep again left her wanting more.

He would promise to stay with her the whole time to make sure she was all right.

Even though she’d agreed to give it a go after three nights, he couldn’t let this continue. The zombie comparison wasn’t as funny now with the way she’d dragged her feet yesterday.

Leaving the mug on the counter, Mark ducked into the kitchenette’s pantry for the marshmallows he _knew _were in there, no matter how well Sam thought he’d hidden them. He pushed aside a pack of cookies and made a mental note to take those with him. Mark was pretty sure Maddie hadn’t eaten yet today, and while cookies weren’t a great option, they were better than nothing.

He fished around behind a pile of chip bags. His phone buzzed in his pocket before he could find the marshmallows, though. It vibrated in the SOS pattern he’d set for Castle Bravo’s alert system. Immediately abandoning his mission, Mark checked the text.

Great, fantastic. Godzilla was ahead of schedule and they wanted him in the control room ASAP. He would have to talk to Maddie once he was finished with this, if only to ensure no one would interrupt them with some problem or another.

Mark left the pantry and the kitchenette, texting Sam as he went about whether Godzilla’s bioacoustics were currently what they expected for this impending visit. The still steaming mug of hot chocolate sat forgotten on the counter.

• • • 

Only a few minutes later, Maddie wandered into the small kitchen area near their rooms. She imagined the setup to be similar to a college dorm, with each floor having their own little area for making comfort food. There was nothing fancy about it, but the cafeteria covered anything it didn’t have.

There was one other person in the room, a scientist whose name was currently escaping her. He looked up from his tablet to smile and nod at her.

Maddie started toward the fridge, but the man made a little sound of realization.

“I think your dad was making that for you before he got called away.” She glanced back to see him pointing at a mug—her mug, with a design of the solar system wrapped around it—on the counter. A little curl of steam rose up from its contents.

“Thanks,” she said, picking it up. Desperate for fresh air, she sipped the hot chocolate as she headed for the upper platform of Castle Bravo.

It was no secret that she liked to tuck herself into some hidden corner and stare out into the vast space between sky and sea. Today’s sequestered corner was behind one of the shipping containers, shielded from the worst of the wind. She leaned against the sun-warmed metal and stretched her legs out in front of her, so her ankles were hanging over the edge. The water slapped against the base’s side paneling a long way below her.

Maddie finished her hot chocolate and set the mug aside. She thought about listening to music, but the calm, natural sounds were too peaceful to ignore.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine a world where monsters like Ghidorah didn’t exist. She could almost pretend she was sitting on a dock by a beach. The waves splashing together, the cries of nearby seagulls, the quiet creaking of her surroundings—it all made it so easy to forget the past.

Her body felt heavy as she sat there, sagging against the container. She was so tired, so stupidly, annoyingly tired. Going about her day, even just completing basic tasks, became harder with every sleepless night. Maybe she’d ask her dad about the sleeping pills later.

Even a simple few hours of uninterrupted rest sounded like bliss.

Maddie dozed in the late morning sun, never quite slipping into anything deeper than basic head-nodding. She eventually roused herself to tug her shoes and socks off, scooting closer to the edge so her bare feet could hang comfortably without hurting her ankles against the concrete. She leaned against the lowest bar of the metal railing and picked at a rusty crack. It bent slightly under her folded arms.

Her eyelids drooped. Her shoulders relaxed. Her breathing slowed. The empty hot chocolate mug sat behind her.

Though she’d gotten good at keeping herself awake despite the crushing exhaustion, there wasn’t much she could do when her desperate body had even the tiniest amount of assistance in finally, at long last, putting Maddie into a deep sleep.

And so, when her full, unconscious weight pressed against the damaged metal rod, it broke. Just a bit, really. A negligent amount for someone awake and aware. Unfortunately, Maddie was neither.

Maddie’s eyes stayed closed as she began to tip forward at the loss of support, as she tumbled off the edge of the platform, as she fell down, down, down. They didn’t open even as she was swallowed up by the cold ocean and started to sink. There was no human to see her fall. No human to hear the splash her limp body made.

But, by some miracle, someone else did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know anything about sleeping pills or Monarch bases, besides what little Google can tell me? No. Thank goodness for the suspension of disbelief. 
> 
> The second chapter will be posted next Sunday, the 27th. Let me know how you liked the first part!


	2. Chapter 2

Mark leaned over the back of Rick’s chair, watching the data coming in. They had a dozen different devices pointed at Godzilla—who seemed oddly tolerant as he slowly drifted near Castle Bravo—from cameras to sensors to scanners.

“So we can say for sure,” Rick said, pointing at the display of radiation levels, “that his grand finale in Boston didn’t drain him as much as we thought. Unless he can recharge faster than we thought.” He cursed quietly. “Every answer we get seems to come with two more questions.”

Ilene nodded from the other side of the computer bank. “But we know he is not distressed.”

“Or angry,” Mark added. “But is he planning on going back to sleep after this, or is this little outing going to be a regular thing?”

“I don’t think there will be a way to tell yet. He moved beyond his usual territorial routes,” Ilene said, turning to glance back at the dotted line looping through the ocean on the big screen. “He went closer to land, as well. Checking for threats?”

Rick leaned back and crossed his arms. “Could just be the King surveying his hard-won land.”

Colonel Foster stepped up beside Mark and said, “As long as he doesn’t give any indication of attacking, he can tour the Atlantic all he wants.”

They kept working, making observations and recording data. Godzilla’s heartbeat was slow, his rumble calm, and his movements lazy. They took advantage of the opportunity to study him while he seemed to be in a good mood.

A little while later, just over an hour since Mark had entered the control room to wait for the King’s arrival with the others, Godzilla’s constant vocalization went silent. Numerous heads lifted from the stations to see if that was normal.

Mark frowned.

Seconds later, Godzilla released a short but fierce roar, his heartbeat picking up the slightest bit as the cameras showed him whipping around. The abrupt current sent the drones spinning as their operators tried to restabilize them.

“What’s he doing?” Colonel Foster called from across the room.

“Hell if I know,” Rick said, throwing his hands up. “Something must’ve startled him.”

Ilene tapped at her own screen. “His bioacoustics are unusual, but not aggressive.”

“Someone check if there’s something going on with the other Titans that could’ve set him off,” Foster called over her shoulder.

A tech at a different station gasped. “He’s coming this way! And fast, too!”

Rick flipped his screen to a different readout, and Mark clenched his teeth at the sonar display. Godzilla was approaching Castle Bravo with more intent than last time, and that was in response to a planet-wide threat.

“Brace yourselves!” someone shouted.

The lights flickered and Castle Bravo shook under the Godzilla-made ocean waves. He didn’t hit the base, but Mark watched with bated breath as the King held still beside the southeast corner. He didn’t linger long—in fact, he swam away after less than a minute in the position.

The control room echoed with sighs of relief.

“More questions,” Rick muttered, thunking his head against his table. “More and more questions.”

Mark huffed in wordless agreement. They’d probably never fully understand the Titans, no matter how much they studied the creatures.

Once they confirmed that Godzilla was making steady progress away from Castle Bravo without being on the verge of a rampage, they returned to work. With their subject of interest gone, it was just a matter of wrapping things up and making sure to dot their i’s and cross their t’s.

It would be half an hour before Mark left the control room in search of his daughter. It would take another ten minutes from then to realize the drugged hot chocolate had been taken and Maddie was nowhere to be found. A final fifteen minutes would result in the discovery of the empty mug, a small pair of socks and shoes, and a broken railing—and by then, all of Castle Bravo would be in an uproar.

• • • 

Her bed was rumbling. Not shaking or vibrating; _rumbling_.

Maddie blearily opened her eyes. She could feel the slight pull of crusty flakes at their corners, but that was secondary to the mystery of why her bed sounded alive. She stared uncomprehendingly at a significant expanse of dark gray. The surface she was lying on was firm—but not uncomfortable—and strangely textured.

The last thing she remembered was sitting on Castle Bravo’s upper platform around noon. Now, though she was still outside, she didn’t recognize this as part of the base. And it was dark out. How long had she been asleep?

More importantly, why hadn’t she been woken up by torturous nightmares? 

She groaned and shifted. Just as she started to push herself up, the ground’s rumbling increased, ending in a loud snort in front of her.

Madison Russell slowly lifted her head to stare dumbly into Godzilla’s fiery eyes.

“No way,” she whispered. “I’m dreaming.”

Sitting up—on his stomach, _she’d been sleeping on Godzilla’s stomach!_—she looked around with a slack jaw and absolute disbelief.

Godzilla was floating on his back, leaving his stomach—_where she’d been sleeping!_—above the ocean. He’d lifted his head up out of the water to watch her, probably once he’d realized she was awake. The full moon gleamed brightly above them, casting shimmering reflections over the gentle waves. It was more than bright enough for her to see clearly.

Maddie rubbed her eyes just to be sure. The crusty flakes fell away and she felt more awake after the simple action, but her surroundings hadn’t changed. She merely stared up at Godzilla, at a complete and utter loss for words.

Something of her confusion must’ve been obvious, even for a Titan, because he snorted again and let out a rumble that could easily pass for laughter. The sound shook his stomach and Madison right along with it.

Oddly enough, it never occurred to her to be afraid.

“How did I…” She trailed off to twist around, but Castle Bravo was nowhere in sight.

Her clothes were wrinkled in a way that meant they’d dried all bunched up in some areas. It made sense, she supposed, that she fell into the ocean. She’d certainly been exhausted enough for her body to finally give out. What didn’t make sense was why Godzilla would apparently save her from drowning and let her sleep on him in a way that must have been inconvenient.

The shifting of his body made her look up. He slowly began to rotate, waiting patiently for Maddie to climb to the new highest point. By the end of it, he was floating on his stomach, leaving his little human passenger to navigate the jagged dorsal plates on his back as he began swimming.

They were much larger than Maddie would’ve guessed. It felt like walking in a valley between mountains. Unfortunately, some of the larger ones blocked enough moonlight to leave Maddie stumbling every now and then. She caught herself on one of the fins after tripping over what might’ve been a raised scar.

She gasped. It was warm and faintly vibrating. This close, she could both see and feel the difference between the bits that lit up blue and the bits that stayed dark. Maddie traced the nearly imperceptible line separating the different areas.

The vibrating began to increase, turning into a louder hum until Godzilla’s spines were entirely glowing around her. It felt so alien, standing there surrounded by rough peaks, awash with a light bright and beautiful enough to rival the stars above her. The drone of pure energy—energy more than capable of leveling cities—was hot and tingly against the bare skin of her hands and feet.

With her mom’s prominent place in Monarch, Maddie had lived in some remote places and visited others. The outpost with Mothra had been fairly isolated, and there was something about standing on Antarctica and seeing nothing but the ground beneath her and space above her that had made her feel _small_.

This was the first time such isolation, such separation from the rest of humanity, didn’t make her skin crawl. Instead, everything she was feeling bubbled together in her stomach until she was sure she would burst from the joy of it.

With the return of her sight, she took great pleasure in bouncing and skipping across Godzilla’s back, trailing her fingers along his fins and whooping with laughter. He rumbled beneath her when she spun around and around with her arms flung wide. Maddie smiled up at the stars, her head tilted back so the tips of Godzilla’s spines were only barely visible, the blue light of the King’s power wrapping around her like it was her own.

As she let herself act like a truly carefree child for the first time since San Fransisco, the pain surrounding her heart finally, at long last, began to melt away.

• • •

It took perhaps longer than it should have, but eventually, someone realized the corner where Madison had fallen was the same as where Godzilla had been when he had approached the base.

What this meant for Madison, no one could guess.

• • • 

Maddie sat cross-legged on Godzilla’s head as he plowed through the water and she couldn’t help but marvel at how safe she felt. Her whole body seemed lighter from the absence of exhaustion and fear. Any thought of danger was squashed beneath the memory of turning around and seeing Godzilla storming through Boston to take down Ghidorah.

The true King had stopped the usurper from killing her then, and now it seemed his presence would prevent Ghidorah from tormenting her mentally.

His spines were still glowing behind her, and his body radiated comforting heat well enough that even the night’s cool breezes couldn’t make her shiver. Maddie’s softly traced the cracks in his skin, knowing she should be trying to find a way back to Castle Bravo. The problem was that she wasn’t ready to give this up.

It wasn’t even how she was probably the only person in the world who could say she’d been personally rescued by Godzilla and subsequently allowed to nap on him—though it _was _pretty awesome. No, it was about that sense of safety.

What could possibly touch her if Godzilla was standing in their way?

And he wasn’t expecting something from her, either. She frowned at the thought, but couldn’t defend her parents when it came to that. Her mom had always expected her to be strong, to be smart and obedient. Her dad—though less so recently—had expected her to be okay without him, to be able to move on by herself.

Her childhood had essentially died with Andrew.

But Godzilla hadn’t given a crap when she’d practically danced around earlier. Though she couldn’t be sure, his rumbles had seemed encouraging when she’d laughed happily. And right now, even, he was completely okay with her sitting on his head, playing connect-the-dots with the marks on his skin.

Maddie flopped backwards with a heavy sigh. She had to go back—her dad probably thought she was dead, and it would be cruel to make him believe she was gone any longer than necessary. At least she’d have the memory of this peace once their little adventure was over and Godzilla left.

He huffed through his nose, sending a little burst of steam rising into the air. The blue glow slowly went out, and it felt not unlike a parent turning off the light despite protests.

The darkness lent Maddie a different senseof safety, something more like confidence, and for the first time, she wanted to tell someone about her nightmares. Maybe it was because Godzilla couldn’t respond—or laugh at her for being afraid of a dead monster—and might not even hear her at all.

In the middle of the ocean, with only the stars as witnesses, Maddie quietly, haltingly, began to talk to Godzilla about the horrors she saw each night.

“It’s stupid,” she said after pouring it all out. She was lying on her side by that point, her body curled into a loose fetal position. Maddie angrily wiped tears from her face. “He’s gone, and I _know _that, so I should be able to just… forget about him.”

She was quiet for a second before the thought that had been haunting the back of her mind for over a week slipped out in a harsh whisper. “I’m weak for letting him get to me.”

Godzilla immediately proved himself to be listening attentively, because his whole body shook with a deep growl. He tilted his head too quickly for Maddie to move, sending her sliding into the ocean with a cry of surprise. She resurfaced in time to watch him disappear beneath the dark waves, though she didn’t have the chance to worry he would leave her there before something surged up from below her, lifting her into the air.

She stared into Godzilla’s eyes from her perch at the end of his snout. They burned into her, slightly narrowed in what had to be anger or frustration.

But if she’d done something to piss him off, why not abandon her?

Maddie pushed her wet hair back. Even soaked through, she wasn’t really cold. “What?” she asked defiantly. She’d screamed in Ghidorah’s faces; Godzilla could never scare her as much as that monster.

He growled again, slitted eyes gleaming.

Stupid language barrier. She’d have to guess until he gave her some sign of confirmation.

“I made you angry.”

He blinked slowly and sank down into the water a little, but didn’t make a sound.

She thought about what she’d said right before he’d dumped her off his head. Something about how she should be able to forget Ghidorah and since she couldn’t, she was—“I’m weak?”

His spines hummed dangerously as the snarl made a reappearance.

That response—it was a lot like how a human would react to defend a friend from themself, when they were being their own worst enemy. 

Godzilla apparently didn’t appreciate her disbelieving silence, because he raised his snout enough to send her tumbling forward. Maddie barely managed to catch herself against his face, but before she could express her indignation, something caught her attention.

It would be nearly impossible to see from a distance, but there was a still-healing gouge carved out of the skin above his nose. It must have been deep and thick when it was made, for how fresh it looked even after a month of healing.

She couldn’t see Godzilla’s eyes anymore, but she could still feel the weight of his attention when she asked, “Ghidorah did this?”

His response was a quiet snort.

Maddie gently touched the scarred skin beside the remaining wound. It wasn’t a terrible scar, really, it was just textured differently and a little bit lighter than the rest of him.

Ghidorah… had left a mark—many marks, if she had to guess—on Godzilla. It probably still hurt. Maybe he even thought about it a lot. Maybe he thought he should’ve been able to avoid taking the hit that caused it. Maybe he thought he should’ve been able to take Ghidorah down sooner—should’ve been stronger.

The King slowly lowered his head to allow Maddie to scoot backwards on his snout until she could see his eyes again. They weren’t narrowed anymore; he knew he’d gotten his message across.

If Godzilla himself was still recovering from the battle, then maybe it was okay for Maddie to need more time, too.

She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on her arms. “Thanks,” she eventually said. “Not just for… this, tonight. For everything.” Her fingers worried at the wet material of her jacket sleeve. “I don’t know if anyone’s ever thanked you.” She snorted. “I doubt it; most humans are still stupid enough to blame you for everything.”

_My mom did,_ she didn’t say.

Godzilla began to rumble—if she were bold enough, she might call it a purr. His eyes stayed focused on her, which should’ve been disconcerting, but…

She smiled at him. “So, thank you. On behalf of humanity, no matter how stupid we can be. And—sorry.”

His eyes narrowed the slightest bit, as though daring her to blame herself for something beyond her control.

“Well, no one else is gonna say it. They told me about the Oxygen Destroyer. I think the only other person who would’ve apologized for that is—well, he’s dead.” She lowered one hand to his snout, wondering if Dr. Serizawa had done the same before the nuke went off. “He was the one who brought you the bomb afterwards, for the radiation.”

Would that even mean something to a Titan?

Godzilla didn’t react for a few seconds, and then a growing roar built in his throat. From her position above the water, Maddie watched with wide eyes as the spines on his slowly swishing tail lit up, the glow spreading steadily up his back. She looked up as the accompanying charging hum rang in her ears.

Maddie fell forward against his face again, twisting around as she did, as the King of the Titans surged up, threw back his head, and blasted his atomic breath straight into the clear night sky. It thundered around them, sending a shockwave through the atmosphere. It died out in time with a final roar directed at the heavens.

There could be no better show of honor from the very Titan Dr. Serizawa had given his life for.

It settled something in Maddie. She laughed wetly, letting her tears fall, as Godzilla sank back into the water so his head was the only part of him above the surface. She sat there for a while longer, until she yawned wide enough to crack her jaw.

Wordless coaxing and insistent maneuvering returned her to the top of Godzilla’s head so he could swim as he pleased. Maddie flattened her palm against his warm skin as she curled up and fell asleep, easy as anything.

Ghidorah’s memory wouldn’t dare visit her that night, not with the rumbling presence of her great protector.

• • • 

Maddie was woken the next morning by the whirring rush of chopper blades overhead. She sat up, trying not to be annoyed at having her second restful sleep interrupted. Godzilla was not nearly so polite—he growled openly at the Osprey and its shouting occupants.

A rope ladder unraveled from the helicopter, and for a minute, it looked like some of the soldiers inside planned to rappel down with it. They changed their minds when Godzilla’s growl turned into a short roar.

It seemed he hadn’t gained patience for _all_ of humanity, then. Maddie wondered what made her different.

She stood to grab the ladder and paused. Even over the loud engine, she knew he heard her when said, “Thanks, Godzilla. It was really great to meet you…” She swallowed. “Goodbye.”

Her emotions jumbled together as she climbed, most expected, save for one. Sadness, disappointment, even frustration—yes, of course, it was only natural. But longing? Among the humans who had retrieved her, she watched silently as Godzilla’s spines descended into the ocean, and she struggled not to cry or uselessly beg him to come back.

The rest of the day dragged from there. Her dad was beside himself with relief at her safe return, and she could practically feel the fear and despair sliding away as he wrapped her up tight in his arms and refused to let go.

Some doctors checked her for injuries—and to see if prolonged close contact with a radioactive Titan left any traces on her; it hadn’t—but the only difference between now and before she’d vanished was the loss of her zombie-esque features.

“Congrats—you don’t look like you’re about to drop dead anymore, kid,” Dr. Stanton said, patting her back. Her dad glared at him. “Who would’ve guessed the big guy could be the opposite of nightmare inducing, huh?”

Maddie didn’t tell him how close to the truth he was.

Dr. Chen’s expression said she had some idea of what Maddie was thinking. Her dad just looked happy to find out she was okay.

When people asked her to tell them what happened—after she’d received an explanation about the accident with the spiked hot chocolate—she gave them a heavily edited version. Because, like she’d told Godzilla, humans were stupid. As long as there was a risk of some people thinking they could use her as a tool to convince him to cooperate—not that she was sure he would—then she would never tell anyone the exact details of her sort-of kidnapping.

As far as they knew, the King had saved her from drowning but had not otherwise acknowledged her. She’d just sat on top of him until being rescued that morning.

_Rescued_, they said, as if she’d been distressed and in need of saving. Unfortunately, she couldn’t correct them without raising suspicions—they would only wonder why she wouldn’t want to have been taken away from a monster like Godzilla.

By the time she was released from doctors, scientists, and other personnel, it was time for dinner. She ate hungrily, actually wanting food for the first time since her nightmares started.

Saying goodnight to her dad took longer than normal, loathe as he was to let her out of his sight again. She’d only been alone in her room for a few minutes when someone knocked on her door. Maddie opened it. A tablet sat on the floor in front of her, and she peered down the corridor just in time to catch Dr. Stanton rounding the far corner.

Dr. Stanton apparently _had_ known how true his statement about Godzilla’s effect on her had been. The only thing on the tablet was hours and hours of audio recordings of Godzilla’s vocalizations, taken across months, _years,_ of studying him.

Though it wasn’t entirely the same as listening to the real deal, Maddie slept through the night.

• • • 

**Two Weeks Later**

Maddie pressed down hard on the bolt cutter’s handles, releasing a harsh breath only when the padlock in front of her broke. She set both objects aside and pulled open the access hatch. It was nighttime, only half an hour after the base’s skeleton crew took over.

Which meant, as long as he didn’t make a commotion, Godzilla’s presence at the base would go unnoticed. At least until morning. Maybe even longer.

He rumbled very quietly at her, as close to Castle Bravo as he could get.

Maddie hadn’t exactly _planned _for this to happen. It just sort of did. The King had been making an unprecedented amount of sweeps past the base since the whole debacle where he rescued her, and only three days after her return, she’d managed to be alone on the upper platform when he swung by.

And honestly, who wouldn’t be up for befriending a Titan? Okay, well, a lot of people, probably.

Their meetings began to follow a schedule from there, and now Maddie was anxious to get away from Castle Bravo for even just a little while. The memories still lingered, heavy and inescapable, and, well. Spending a day on the ocean with Godzilla worked wonders last time, and it was a much better coping mechanism than avoiding sleep like the plague.

She even made sure to leave her dad a note.

Armed with a waterproof backpack full of supplies, Maddie climbed out onto the metal rungs below the hatch and pulled it closed. Godzilla’s head rose up slightly. She jumped.

The King let out his laughter-rumble as he swam away from the base with his human cargo safely on board.

Maddie grinned up at the stars, as clearly visible as they were on that night two weeks ago. Eventually, her mom’s death would stop haunting her, her fear of losing her dad would fade, and Ghidorah would fail to keep his ever-weakening grip on her mind.

But until that happened, Godzilla was there to help ease the pain, to help her get better, to help her continue on. And if she was very lucky, he’d still be there long after she was strong enough on her own again.

The wound Ghidorah left on his face was almost completely healed. Maddie didn’t feel too far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this, I’d love it if you left a comment! Whether it’s a keysmash, reports of flailing or funny noises, a “Good job!”, or a favorite line, it’s all super appreciated! They are my lifeblood. 
> 
> Come yell with me about these characters at [my tumblr](https://star-going-supernova.tumblr.com/), or stop by if you want to leave a suggestion for a future story! :D


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